Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails. Proverbs 19:21

A good parent always has aspirations for their children. Moms and dads want to see every child do well in school, excel in their careers, have successful jobs and thrive in their personal relationships. It is honorable for a parent to help their children to excel in life.

Matching the desires of a parent to the purposes of God for their child(ren) should always be a goal.

Pray and ask the LORD to guide you in identifying your child’s natural gifts and talents. You must remember every child belongs to God. It is He who created them, gifted them and has a specific purpose for them.

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

Can you imagine if a famous composer like Beethoven was not put in front of a piano or an artist like Michelangelo was not given a brush for painting or a chisel for sculpting? Expose your children to as many things as possible to draw out of them the gifts placed in them by God.

King David’s father saw him as a shepherd boy. God saw Him as a King.

In the Bible, the First Book of Samuel and the First Book of Chronicles both identify David as the son of Jesse, the Bethlehemite, and as the youngest of eight sons. Jesse needed David to help with the family estate and to protect his livestock from being ravaged by wild animals. Someone in the family had to tend to their food and income source. Jesse chose David.

Even when the Prophet Samuel came to the home of Jesse to seek the next king of Israel Jesse did not consider David. He did not see his youngest son as a worthy candidate. The plans of God for David did not match up to the plans of his father for him. David was chosen by his father for a lowly position of caring for a flock of sheep. God had higher plans. Do all you can as a parent to seek the higher plans of God for the life of your child. Just keep everything within the context of Biblical living and morals.

Do not underestimate the purpose of God for your child.

Even at an early age, a parent should do all they can to identify the gifts given by God to their child. Does your child have great motor skills, musical abilities, excellent reading and comprehension, great communication skills, do other children tend to follow your child’s lead? Does your child have a profound interest in building things, organizing, spirituality, helping people, etc.?

Try to further develop whatever you see your child drawn to, and areas of aptitude in which they excel. If it’s music, have them try different instruments. If it’s building things, get them toys that challenge them in this area. If it’s reading, get them great books. If it’s public speaking, have them listen to the greatest preachers and orators in history, etc., etc.

You will often see children following their parent’s footsteps, good and bad.

What you do not want to do as a parent is force your child to become what you desire for them versus what God may have planned for them. It is better to pray for the purpose of God for your child’s life and to identify and develop the gifts God has placed in them.

Teachers, family members, church leaders, and others who spend time with your children, will sometimes be those who identify your child’s giftings and talents. Ask others what they see in your child. You will be amazed at what they may see and say.

Proverbs 15:22 Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

Not every child is born to be a doctor. Every child has a different IQ, aptitude and skills.

Do not compare your child to others. Every child is unique. It is ok if your child does not attend college, but rather pursues a trade or something that truly interests them. For sure you have to encourage and train your child to do their best at everything set before them and to not be lazy. You do not want your child on their cell phone rather than completing homework. At the same time, you do not want to put extreme demands on a child for the sake of family pride, parental ego, living your personal aspirations through them, or to appease culture.

There must be a healthy balance in fostering the growth of a healthy well adjusted child.

You do not want to raise a child driven by fear, an extreme desire for approval, and extremely overwhelmed by the pressure to succeed. At the same time, you do not want to raise a child who cannot handle the challenges of life, or a child that is lazy.

Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth. Proverbs 10:4

In 2013, Pew Research conducted a survey that said 64% of parents believe not enough pressure is put on children to do well in school. This may be true. As a parent, you must use wisdom in directing your child’s attention, and focus. Assess your motivations for your children, and pray for direction. Be careful to not be overly demanding, but also be careful to be a parent that does not not incentivize and encourage their children to work hard and have achievements in their lives.

Story

My wife and I have pastored many people and have seen different styles of parenting. Some people are authoritarian in nature, while others are more laid back. Whatever a parent’s personality, it does not really matter in parenting. The principles of parenting remain the same. You want to raise children with the greatest amount of love, faith, guidance, direction, and wisdom to succeed in what God has designed and called them to be and do. You may not know the ultimate purpose of God for your child, but you can prepare them to be successful, open to the will of God and to be happy.

We have seen some parents exercise unrealistic expectations, pressure and demands on their children. Demanding perfection in every area of life and making routine so stringent as to take away the wonder, freedom and happiness of just being a child is not healthy.

I remember a family raising their children in an extremely structured home with the highest of expectations and demands. It reminded me of the Von Trapp family as portrayed in the movie The Sound of Music. The children were being raised in a militaristic home environment until the new governess, played by actress Julie Andrews, brought a healthy dose of childhood play back into the household.

The children of this family excelled in school and spoke multiple languages. They were well behaved, but it was very rare to see a smile on their faces. The joy of just being a child was not evident in their lives. You do not want to raise robots that perform tasks but have no human emotion and joy in their lives. You want to raise well balanced children with lots of room to have fun, while achieving all God has for them in this world.

BOTTOM LINE:

Pray for the plans of God to come to fruition in the life of your child.
Identify gifts and talents early on and groom them.
Do not compare your child with others, your child is unique.
Allow your child to experience childhood without undue pressure and demands.
You want your child to succeed, but not strong armed to meet unrealistic expectations.

Today’s Prayer: LORD, please help me to raise happy well-adjusted children who achieve your will in their lives. Show me the talents and giftings of my children and how to enhance their progress in being all you are calling them to be. In Jesus Name I pray. Amen

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