TESTIMONY: Leticia Romney

I definitely didn’t grow up in the church. I remember going a few times as a young child with my parents, but for a large majority of my life, I chose to walk without God.

The earliest memories that I have were of abuse as a young child. It endured for years and nobody else knew until years later. I carried that truth on my own for years (or so I thought!) My teenage years consisted of me going to school, working, and taking care of my younger siblings. I was depressed, anxious, and committed acts of self-harm. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital a total of three times as a teenager. Due to my tragic past, I was left with a skewed perception of what love is and an inability to trust. I now realize I was walking around with a gaping hole in my heart, and without realizing it, I spent years filling that hole with whatever I could find to ease the pain.

I married at the age of 20 to an unbeliever (I was also an unbeliever at the time). It seemed that we navigated our marriage well, we just did it without God. About 6 months into the marriage, I fell into a severe depressive/anxious state to the point where I felt like I couldn’t even get out of bed. About two weeks into being stuck in bed my husband at the time desperately talked to one of his coworkers at his job who had talked to him about a church and asked her if she could invite me because he didn’t know what else to do. She reached out to me, and after blowing her off for a couple weeks, I desperately gave in and forced myself to get out of bed to go try church. It was my only hope at that point. Although I was changed that day, my healing walk had only just begun. A couple months after my first day attending church, despite trying to make everything work, my husband decided he wanted to get a divorce.

Remember that gaping hole I mentioned? When my husband decided to leave, it was once again torn wide open. I walked around doing whatever I could to try and ease the pain. The enemy knew exactly what to do to orchestrate my fall. What started as friendship turned into an ungodly relationship with this woman that seemed to fill the hole in my heart. As I started to come to church consistently and build my relationship with the Lord, I began to learn that He has a perfect plan for how He created us. I began to discover how I was living was not according to His plan for me. But, how could I let go of this unhealthy relationship? I found myself completely torn every day. I spent the greater part of two years crying out to God in despair and begging him daily to change His word, to change His mind. I just wanted to be free of the split life. I wanted to please God, but I wanted Him to be pleased with my way. It came down to which choice I could live with. Could I live without this girl? It didn’t feel like it at the time. Could I live without God? Definitely not. The choice was simple, the process was not. I unknowingly caused a lot of hurt to others and within myself. However, no matter how painful the journey was for me, I learned more about God’s faithfulness, love, and forgiveness than ever before.

I was abused, abandoned, broken, divorced, blinded, confused, and lost. When I worship, it is not hard for me to remember what the Lord has done for me. For almost my entire life I was drowning in sin, shame and hurt. I used to think my father was crazy when he would talk to me about God when I was a child. And now I’m here today redeemed, walking in wholeness and healing; still learning more and more about what unconditional love is every single day.

Author: Leticia Romney a member of Legacy Church

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