Hope in the Aftermath: Surviving Divorce

Mar 16

I know... you shudder to hear That word-divorce. After all, it’s synonymous with detach, disunion, disconnect, severed, separate, dissociate, dissolution —all of which you feel in the season you are going through it! Then the guilt you feel going through these myriad of emotions as a Christian —When you have tried everything 1000 % and it all goes awry!

My Story

I was saved 6 days before I married my son’s father. My son John was 2 years and 2 months old and I thought the best thing to do was to marry his daddy and somehow all would be fixed. You see I’m a fixer! Well, long story short...it was many years too long of an unequally yoked relationship that was filled with emotional and psychological abuse mixed with alcohol (my ex) and a severe case of codependency (me). That mix did not work, It was toxic.

I would go to the altar time and time again and ask God to help me cope, change him, change me and the cycle would continue. I would justify staying because Jesus’s love in me would cover him and my love would change him. Many years in and out of that roller coaster relationship did not help me or our son. In fact, it created confusion, trust issues and sadness in both of us.

We were emotionally abandoned amidst other unhealthy and unsafe reactions that went on for years.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

I tried, No one can say I didn’t try! In the midst, I sought God! I immersed myself in serving in the church and in raising my son. I started junior college during one of our separations and received an associates in early childhood and then when things didn’t progress in our marriage I transferred to RIC to receive a bachelor’s in EC Ed. The legal divorce eventually happened, but we had never really had a marriage—I had learned to detach. During this turmoil I was not stagnant. I prayed that the Lord would direct my path and He certainly did just that!

You see, there is Hope! Hope In the aftermath of what seems insurmountable. Hope because of holding onto Jesus.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Psalm 147:3

How I Survived

You cry out to Jesus! Severe prayer that never ceases!
You surround yourself intentionally with an intricate support system
You serve God’s people in your brokenness, in the waiting...
You Praise Him through it all!
Fill your mind, spirit with His Word
Reach out to your Pastors and leaders, they are for you!
Forgive yourself and your ex spouse
You keep you and your child(ren) connected to the body of Christ
Give yourself grace, Jesus has already bestowed His grace upon you!
His Grace and His Love accompanies the healing.
He never leaves you.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
Deuteronomy 31:6