Truth

Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God. Romans 13:1

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Colossians 3:20 NIV

There is much confusion and difference of opinion regarding parenting, even among so-called experts. Some believe children should be treated as equals and it is not necessary to exercise authority over them. Their philosophy is children should have the right to self rule and you can reason with them at any age. They also see permissiveness as love and Biblical discipline as child abuse. This is contrary to the teachings of the Bible. The Bible teaches God gives you as a parent authority over your children.

Have you ever been embarrassed or felt sorry for the parent who had lost complete control over their child. Screaming, kicking, spitting, biting, demanding and head spinning in public with no fear of consequence. The response of the parent will show you who has the authority, the child or the parent.

The Bible teaches a parent must exercise authority and discipline in order to raise secure and successful children. The Bible teaches we are to raise children who are obedient, have faith in God and are not foolish. This will bring joy to you as a parent and not a painful burden. There will be more on discipline in upcoming ParentTips.

A child must obey his or her parents. This requires the exercise of a parent’s role as the authority figure in the home, one who leads his or her children. Yes and no, must mean exactly that. Parental authority in a family brings security to a child and order to the family structure. Every organization has a senior authority figure. In the home it is the parent. The buck must stop with you!

With authority comes great responsibility. You must respect, deeply love, have patience and gently instruct your children. Remember there is an authority greater than your authority and that is GOD! You will be accountable to Him as to how you care for the gift He has given you, your children.

If you as a parent do not require obedience, you will feed rebellion and insecurity. This character trait will follow your children into teen years and even adulthood, and thus causing you as a parent, and your children, much pain.

Requiring obedience is a lifesaver. It is what provides guardrails in a dangerous world. It is what shows your children you mean what you say and you say what you mean. It is what shows them they are worth your time, effort and instruction. Do not doubt the authority God has given you as a parent! Be convinced you have what your children need; knowledge, wisdom, experience and the capacity to protect and guide them.

Your kids are looking to be led. If you do not take the lead, they will look for someone who will lead them and will receive your lack of parenting as rejection. I know it is difficult for some people to be bold, strong and unswerving in requiring obedience from their children. But do not be deceived into thinking because you do not have an authoritarian personality, your children will not listen to you.

Leading as a parent takes consistency, untiring commitment, and discipline. You can do it! Just think what would come of a child if a parent does not command and demand their children to not touch fire, to not cross a street without looking for oncoming traffic, or to not take a stranger’s hand, etc. What would come of a child if they grow up believing there are no boundaries and consequences to their actions?

One of the most important commandments of the Bible is for children to honor and obey their parents. A parent has the final authority in the family. A child’s obedience to a parent is their protection for living a long and happy life.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise— “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Ephesians 6:2-3

We live in a world filled with lawlessness and disrespect towards authority, including parents. Boundaries that have existed for generations are being torn down and redefined by culture. You must never abandon the Biblical pattern for raising children. You must expect your children to obey you and follow your lead.

God has given you His most precious gift and creation. You cannot leave the care of this gift to happenstance, guess work, and ever changing human philosophies. If there are no absolutes to parenting then there is nothing to rely on for success.

The good news is the Bible provides unchanging principles and wisdom for raising moral, secure, confident and prosperous children.

Interesting

U.S. Department of Justice, Office of Justice Programs https://www.ojp.gov/pdffiles1/Digitization/140517NCJRS.pdf (Page i)

“Positive parenting practices during the early years and later in adolescence appear to act as buffers preventing delinquent behavior and assisting adolescents already involved in such behavior in desisting from further delinquency. Research confirms that children raised in supportive, affectionate, and accepting homes are less likely to become deviant. Children rejected by parents are among the most likely to become delinquent.”

Story

People tend to seek the advice of a pastor on many subjects. Thankfully the Bible has lots of answers and principles to follow. I remember one mom weeping and telling me she was at the end of her rope with her 4 year old daughter. Her child would have a temper tantrum if she did not get what she demanded at the local market or store.

I asked the mom how she would respond. The mom replied she would apprehend her kicking and screaming daughter from the shopping cart then leave all her items and just go home. This poor mom was being ruled by her child. She gave up her authority as a parent to a little tiny person. The child knew she was the boss and not her mom. This mom did ultimately apply consistent discipline needed to foster obedience from her child.

BOTTOM LINE:

You as a parent are given authority by God over your children.
You must require obedience from your child.
Your children are seeking guidance and boundaries and need to be led.

Today’s Prayer: LORD, help me to be a leader to my children by example and deed. Help me to not waiver in my responsibility as a parent to have proper order in my household, and to raise loving and obedient children with proper respect for authority.

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