Truth

Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him. Psalm 127:3 NLT

Every child is a gift from God and a unique person from birth. Every child is born with his or her own characteristics, personality, and tendencies. There are some traits passed down from generations past, but still every human being is created with their own spirit,will, gifts and talents, and can be shaped.

Can such a complex and wonderful creation, a human being, be molded into someone with a healthy identity, and positive behavior patterns? Can a child be developed by his or her parents into a successful and godly adult, or is everything predetermined by DNA and generational iniquities? The answer is yes, you certainly can raise children who will make you proud to be a parent, children who are formed by godly parenting and mentoring into spiritually and emotionally healthy adults.

There is no such thing as a bad child. There used to be a TV program called Nanny 911. This documentary followed the lives of parents who were dealing with out of control children. The super nanny was called into a parent’s home on a 911 emergency basis. The parents could no longer deal with their child’s or children’s behavior patterns. As you begin to watch the program your initial reaction is empathy towards the parents. It appears the parents were dealt a bad hand. You begin to think the child was born with serious issues of rebellion, anger and disobedience.

As the Nanny 911 program moves along you begin to realize the problem is not the child, but insufficient and or terrible parenting skills. Nanny 911 begins to adjust the child’s behavior by changing the parent’s behavior. The parents begin to be taught the error of their ways, and learn the effective ways to parent a child. Little at a time the dynamics of the family begin to change and improve. What appears to be a hopeless situation becomes a model of a functional home with love, positivity, and correct parent to child relationships and vice versa.

Every ParentTip will provide you with insight to help you reap positive results in the parenting of your child(ren).

You are not born a good parent, good parents are developed by learning, practice, work, and consistency. You may be asking is it too late for me? You may be thinking my child is too old and is already displaying characteristics and behavior patterns detrimental to their well being and success.

It is never too late to influence a child. You can be a good parent! Whether single or married you can raise children who will become successful adults. There is always a path forward. and it is by obtaining knowledge and gaining wisdom.

Get wisdom, get understanding; do not forget my words or turn away from them. Proverbs 4:5

Your sons and daughters do not need perfection, they need genuine love. Your child needs to see you giving your best and improving in how you communicate with them, spend time with them, invest in them, pray with them and ask for God to be involved in their lives. They need to see you working hard at being the best mom or dad you can be.

Do not let the guilt of past mistakes stop you from changing the future. Even your weaknesses and mistakes can be used to teach your children the importance of learning from them and improving and changing your behavior as a parent.

Your words have power! Your words will either build up or destroy.

And a voice from heaven said, “This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased.” Matthew 3:17

A child’s spirit is very sensitive to a parent’s communication with them and in the home. You can easily bruise a child’s spirit by what you say. and how you act and react with them. A child needs to see your love as well as hear your love for them. The words, “I love you” should not be a rare communication. Remember your words have power!!

Children need to know you are proud of them and value them as individuals. Boys need to be admired and girls need to be cherished. Celebrate your child’s accomplishments and comfort them in times when they feel defeated. You are helping to form their identity.

Decree over every child who God sees them as and who you want them to be, i.e. “You are a good boy, a good girl.” “You are a leader and not a follower.” “God has great plans for your life.” “We are so proud of you.”, etc. Pray over your child while they are awake and while they are asleep. Declare over them the hopes and aspirations God has for their lives. Your words, His Words, are like seeds planted in a field, they will germinate and produce the harvest planted.

Even if you do not feel qualified, you are ordained by God with the authority to train and lead your children. You as a parent are specially chosen to receive and care for your gift from heaven. God sees your child as His special creation and He has entrusted him or her into your care.

It’s OK to feel as though you may be failing at times. Most parents feel this way. Just assess where you are in your present parenting skills and work on improving them. You can do it!

Lori’s Story

You learn a lot about children and parents when you operate a daycare. I ran a daycare in my home for 12 years. One of my policies was to tell parents there was a two week trial period to determine if my daycare was a good match for their child and me. This policy was not so much a test for the child, but more so a test for the parents. Will the parent be responsible in bringing and picking up their child on a timely basis? Were they willing to leave their children in a Christ centered daycare? Were their actions as adults safe for the children in my daycare and me, etc.?

There was one child in my daycare that tended to change personalities upon being picked up by the parents. The child would become greatly agitated and would begin screaming when one of the parents arrived at my home at the end of the day. The parent would ask me, “how do you deal with this all day long?” It was shocking to hear this child was a terror at home. Under my care the child was well behaved.

I had the opportunity to spend time at the home of this child’s parents. I realized the child was starving for attention. Both parents worked long hours and there was no order and structure in the household. The child’s bad behavior was the result of a need for attention, peace and boundaries in the home. There is no such thing as a bad child, just parents needing to be trained.

BOTTOM LINE:

There is no such thing as a bad child, every child is a gift from God.
You are not born a good parent, good parents are developed.
Your words and actions are molding your child’s identity.
You are ordained by God with the authority to be a good parent.

Today’s Prayer: LORD, guide me in your ways to be a better parent and to learn from my mistakes. Help me to use my words to build up my child(ren), to speak life into them, and to pray blessing over them daily. In Jesus Name. Amen!

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path. - Psalm 119:105.

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