Truth

Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. Proverbs 4:7 NLT

Some parents have a very hands off approach to parenting. Some call it a liberal parenting style.

Some parents leave many decisions up to their children to make, including daily routines, religious beliefs, church attendance, schooling, friendships, what they watch and read, etc. Some parents believe allowing children to make their own choices is respect for the individual. Other parents are just too busy to be involved in all the decision making required to raise a child. Some parents do not have the energy to deal with the challenge of children who are not compliant.

Although parents need to teach their children how to make good decisions, leaving decision making up to children lacks wisdom and judgment. We call young people children for a reason. They are not adults with the experience needed to make important decisions. A parent must not be lazy in making the best decisions for their children, and or afraid to exercise their authority. A parent must be very involved in making good decisions for their children and acquire the wisdom to do so.

There are many decisions that need to be made daily for children.

Your child may choose the type of ice cream they would like to eat, but not decide when they would like to eat it. A child may decide on the color clothing they would like to wear, but not a style of clothing that is inappropriate and lacks modesty. A child must abide by the rules of the family, including when to eat dinner, bed time, wake time, TV time and programming, homework time, church time, time with friends, etc.

One of the most consequential decisions a parent will make for their child is how they will raise them in faith and with a reverence for God. Another important decision is choosing the friends a child will keep, and yet another significant decision is determining a child’s care and education. We will look at these decisions more closely in future ParentTips.

Do not be afraid to make decisions for your children.

It may be appropriate and beneficial at times to explain and even dialogue with your children regarding your decisions, especially as your child gets older. But an explanation is not always necessary and may even be unwise. For example, if you know it is not safe for your child to go over a certain person’s home, no explanation is needed. Your child must trust your judgment and obey your decision. God says a child must obey their parents and that settles it.

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Ephesians 6:1

The challenge for any parent is to go against the flow and to stand firm in their decisions. You know how persistent a child can be in trying to get what they want. It is much easier to give in at times. But you owe it to your child to make the right decision and not the easy one. It is more important to be wise than to be liked - for the moment. Remember - Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do! And whatever else you do, develop good judgment. Proverbs 4:7 NLT

Lori’s Story

There have been many times my husband and I had to make decisions that were contrary to what other parents were making. Living in a neighborhood with other children made it extremely difficult at times to tell our children they could not just do what others were doing. We had our rules and our three children had to obey them.

One rule was never leaving our property without our consent or going into a neighbor’s home. We needed to know exactly where our children were at all times, what they were doing and with whom. We would not allow our children to go into someone’s home we did not know thoroughly. It did not matter if our neighbors appeared to be nice people and if “all the other kids were there.”

Our children along with their friends would try to argue their positions when they disagreed with our decisions. We knew our decisions were based upon wisdom and good judgment. We knew we were responsible to protect our children even when our decisions were not liked by them.

Sometimes my husband and I would disagree on decisions regarding our children. I was more protective than him. He would sometimes tell me, “boys need to be boys.” But we did our best to not disagree in front of our children and to come to mutual agreement on our parenting decisions.

Being in unity as parents is very important. Your decisions should be based upon the Word of God, prayer, and wisdom. Do not be hesitant to seek counsel from godly leaders who have good fruit in their lives when it comes to raising children. Your decisions will greatly impact your children.

BOTTOM LINE:

Get wisdom for your parenting decisions.
Do not be afraid to make decisions for your children.
It is more important to be wise than to be liked.

Today’s Prayer: LORD, help me to make wise decisions for my children and to not be influenced by this world and its pressure to conform. Make me strong in my resolve to lead my children well and to not become weary when challenged. In Jesus Name I pray, Amen!

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