ParentTip #2 INVEST IN YOURSELF

Truth

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. 3 John 1:2 ESV

• You must get and stay healthy.  Your kids need the best of you. Healthy children come from healthy parents. This means you need to take time for yourself, and if married, your marriage. You need to evaluate your life and what you are doing to stay healthy, body, soul and spirit.   

You should not feel guilty about finding time for yourself. Obviously as a parent you have less time than those who do not have children. But you still have time to think through your life and to determine what you need to do to relax, refresh and rejuvenate. 

Some people find exercising as their way to reduce stress, others read, and yet others just need some quiet time alone. Whatever you need to do to be a better you, do it! People who invest in themselves spiritually, emotionally and physically have greater energy for parenting. Do not feel guilty about caring for yourself.   

• A great way to stay spiritually and emotionally healthy is being active in a local church community.  A good church provides spiritual and emotional support for you and your children.  Church activities, small groups and ministry involvement, all create opportunities for friendships to develop with like minded parents.  Many single parents and young married families in our church support each other in their parenting roles.  This helps them to find free time to maintain their physical, spiritual and emotional health.  What a great benefit to parents!  Church is also a great place to find trustworthy sitters for your children.

For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them. Matthew 18:20

Story

My wife and I have always lived busy lives.  When we started having children I was a Bank Vice President, my wife ran a home daycare business.  We were also very involved in our local church.  Our home was always filled with people and ministry, and somehow we were able to properly care for our children, get enough rest, and be happy as a married couple. 

Establishing routine and structure for our children brought great benefit to our parenting, marriage and family dynamics.  We encourage setting routines for children for their benefit as well as yours.  One of those routines is having a set bedtime.  Children need rest, structure and routine.  Generally, at 7:00PM we began the process of bedtime and by 8PM lights were out. We did make exceptions for church night, which our children loved, and other special occasions. Having a set routine for children creates time for parents to relax, refresh and rejuvenate.  

Daycare parents would sometimes complain to my wife about their children being unruly while being compliant for my wife.  The reason for this was lack of structure and routine at home.  My wife had a consistent daily routine for her daycare children.  She maintained order.  Children feel secure when they experience a consistent routine, boundaries and structure.  

Interesting  

Taken from “Zero to Thrive” - University of Michigan https://zerotothrive.org/routines-for-kids/

Why routines matter

Research shows that routines support healthy social emotional development in early childhood. In particular, children with regular routines at home have self-regulation skills, the building blocks of good mental health. When children learn to regulate feelings and behaviors, it means they are able to identify their feelings and have skills to manage those feelings so that they don’t feel overwhelmed. Young children who learn to do this well are better able to adapt to everyday challenges, stressors, and new expectations. Children do not learn to do this all at once. Just as when a child is learning other important skills, like reading and writing, self-regulation is a set of skills that build over time. Every stage includes age-appropriate milestones and important things parents can do to coach children from one stage into the next.

BOTTOM LINE

• Find time for yourself to stay spiritually, emotionally and physically healthy.

• A church community is extremely beneficial to the well being of parents and children.

• Children need structure and routine, and parents need time to relax, refresh, and rejuvenate. 

Today’s Prayer: LORD, I pray you give me the ability to structure my days and establish routines that are beneficial to my children and me, spiritually, emotionally and physically.  Give me a positive mindset and a can do attitude.  Amen   

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13 NIV