Real World of Autism

I'd like to share knowledge on a subject many parents are becoming increasingly aware of, but perhaps remain confused by. I'm talking about autism. A word some fear, a word that enters our churches, schools, friends, family members, or for me.... a word that entered my child. I am here in hopes of offering information that will sooth questions, cast out fear, and offer solutions to the very real world of autism. For those who are reading this, thank you for your heart. I understand the disorder of autism can be challenging, and the fact that you're wanting to learn how to connect, help, or reach those with this very real struggle is amazing. The more we learn about the needs of others the greater our ministry will GROW.  Let's get started.

Ever wondered what exactly autism is, the symptoms, or how you really know a child has this disorder? I'd like to bridge the gap with our experiences in hopes of providing a better understanding of what autism looks like up close and personal.

1. Every Child is Different

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This is a simple truth that makes this all more complex, every child with autism will be different; the symptoms of their disorder will vary. There may be shared symptoms, along with dissimilar ones. Caden doesn't like certain rough fabrics, while another child with autism might not mind that sensation. Caden doesn't mind backward hugs (yes backward), while another child on the spectrum may prefer not to be touched at all... or require a lot of touch to sooth what they’re neurologically experiencing. Caden NOW makes eye contact; however this ability birthed over time through prayer, positive reinforcement, and concerted effort on Caden’s part. Many children on the autistic spectrum learn these social skills through practice and time. They still have autism; the needs are just different as they beautifully progress.

2. Process Things Differently

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Children on the autistic spectrum have feelings and are normal human beings who PROCESS things differently. Just because they aren't looking at you, doesn't mean they don't hear you. If they only say hello, it doesn't discredit their inner happiness. Many children with autism process things literally.... but that doesn't inhibit my son from having feelings and asking if we'll live together forever in heaven. My reply, yes son... our Father has a home for us in heaven.

3. Educate

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1 out of every 76 boys are diagnosed with ASD (Autism spectrum disorder).... it's a great idea (and immensely appreciated) to teach your kids about this disorder, and patience towards the symptoms of it. I’ll cover the chronological symptoms our son experienced, because I want this article to offer enlightenment and use.

When Caden was little (starting at age 1) his symptoms were far more exacerbated than today. He was content for hours alone; we thought he was just a really great baby! We later discovered the root of his isolation. He received speech therapy services at age 1, and spoke his first word shortly after age 2. Several extended “meltdowns” would occur with our bud. Typically we approached these “episodes” with a rocking back and forth hug to sooth his unpleasant experience. There were times it didn’t work and we had to wait it out. This often kept us at home in isolation, fearful of what would negatively trigger Caden’s state of mind. He covered his ears at the sound of loud noises. He did not transition well to change, spinned in circles for long periods of time, played alone for hours, usually on the floor lying down, didn't look at others or the things they tried to show him, had a terrible fear of dogs... among many other things.... bite marks onto himself, would have uncontrolled meltdowns while others were controlled but overly frequent  Before he was diagnosed I started to wonder if our son was unhappy. He would suddenly meltdown if a small part of anything changed, our plans, a TV show, someone visiting who had to cancel... eating was a challenge, getting him to tell me when he was hurt (emotionally or physically) was a challenge, helping him engage with others when they engaged with him was a challenge.... and honestly, the adults were usually the biggest challenge. However, I don’t hold fault over what a person doesn’t understand, everyone is ignorant about something. The hope is to have an open mind and grow.

I'm here in hopes of opening the doors of communication. Without it, there’s little room to grow and learn.

The Caden we see today is much different, very progressed from that little one year old struggling to communicate anything.  In fact, for anyone who doesn’t know him you might ask yourself, "does he really have autism"? The answer to that question is an emphatic yes. He has come a long way. Praise to God and Caden's hard work. The symptoms of his diagnosis are thankfully less extensive, but still present, just in different ways.

4. Be Aware

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Children on the spectrum do not always know how to protect themselves from mistreatment. If a child or adult is unkind... they may not know what to do. I hope this problem is resolved through those who do understand. Caden doesn’t always understand when someone is messing with him. This is why children on the autistic spectrum are higher risk for bullying. It also is why it's vital to encourage open communication with kids and adults alike.  This would create awareness and prevent uneducated responses. This holds true for all children with special needs. You may not always know it... they might have ADHD, Dyslexia, mild cerebral palsy, depression, a learning disability.... and on the outside they appear the same as you and me... yet they have a very real struggle.

5. Patience is Key

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Caden responds best to patience and a gentle voice. I've often said he would fit right in with meditative monks! Little things such as explaining what you're doing before doing it. For example "Caden, we’re going to the doctor, they won't be giving you shots today, nothing is going to hurt while there.”  To be fair, he may repeatedly ask the same question until prior to arrival, but he’ll calmly ask since he does in fact understand what’s about to happen. He is just looking for reassurance his understanding of the situation is still correct.

6. Talk to Them

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Talk TO him, not about him. I have been guilty of this. I sometimes forget he is ALWAYS listening.

7. Compassion

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Here's a bit about our bud today. He talks MUCH more! He asks LOTS of questions. He CARES about being a host while friends are visiting. He has FEELINGS. Doesn’t gravitate towards those who seemly are disinterested, can be blunt, is great at math and science, engages best if there's an activity to partake together in. He's gentle, cares about following the rules, is cautious, loving, smart, and great helper. He'll pray for you, is polite, needs patience with his sensory sensitivities, and loves his family.

Caden's spectrum areas that need compassion from others include his sensory sensitivities (smells, overly loud sounds, certain fabrics) occasional anxiety, and needing detailed explanations if he has processed what you’ve said in literal terms. For example, yesterday I told Caden we were going down the road to our next stop. He replied “but the road isn’t down”… I then explained it was an expression for us taking a short trip.

He learns best visually and is gifted in math. He holds a tremendous interest and gift in making things with his hands. For example, he came home from school one day, asked for some construction paper, scissors and tape; very typical for Caden, as he does love his crafts.  Once in possession of said items, he sat down and got to work. A few hours later he presented us with a perfectly made little table which he said was for his new baby brother. He created the 4 legs and the table top in quite an ingenious little way. So ingenious in fact, that I had to ask who showed him how to make it? He answered, “no one.”  He continued, “last night when I went to bed, I saw how to do it.” He then kept those plans in his head all day through school, and immediately upon getting home made it a reality.

Symptoms to Look For

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There are symptoms to look for. While every child will be different there are a few "classic" symptoms of the autistic spectrum.

• Less eye contact

• Little affection or too much

• Processing things literally

• Sensory sensitivity

• Speech delay

• Enjoying watching things move in circles (spinning wheels of a car for long periods of time, or gazing at objects from another angle)

• Spinning in circles

• Rolling head back frequently as a toddler

• Hand flapping

• Overly frequent meltdowns and or meltdowns that last more than a few minutes

• Not being able to rationally reason with your child during a meltdown… Even after a few minutes of “cool down time”

• Obsessive behavior/focusing on something too long

• G.I. issues/constipation

• Delay or lacking in conversation skills.

• On the flip side, there are amazing strengths. Autistic children may be more:

advanced in reading, spelling, math, science, and engineering abilities.

• Strong memorization skills (possible photographic memory)

This is a SMALL fragment of what I know. I hope this information was helpful.. I’d love to be enlightened and learn from your personal experiences as well.

Author: Beth Hobbs a member of Legacy Church

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